Log 24th February 2022. Autism, Talented or plain Selfish?

Recently I've been watching The Good Doctor series by Freddie Highmore, it's pretty unsettling at first because this series tells a story about an Autism doctor who aims to become the best surgeon. Why unsettling? Because I might be developing a similar condition. And PTSD to be honest. Okay, maybe some of you might take a few steps back, but don't worry. PTSD is actually could happen to anyone even to a normal person. But autism + PTSD is pretty similar in many ways.

Autism in that series, aiming to be the best surgeon. While I, don't know if this has anything to do with autism or not, aiming to get people to be the best of themselves. Maybe a psychologist is my aim. But the question deep here is, are we selfish people or just too talented to know? Judging from the series turns out it depends on the autist. Coincidentally, I and, as the series protagonist, Shaun Murphy have one thing in common. We don't tend to be a criminal if there's no one to force us to do it. And we could get very high-pitched angry if people interrupt our explanation.

Some of you might say, "well you're just plain selfish", well I could tell you how we feel when we get that kind of "angry" and see if you still say the same after that. When we are angry, we are not unreasonably angry. We are genuinely angry because the world looks at us as if we are just a bactery. We are angry not because of some stupid reason such as narcist. We are angry because we want to tell how we feel honestly but people were just (in our point of view), "what are you saying you sicko!". And that's how we feel.

Of course in my position right now, I am learning to ignore and learning to adapt. But it is a tough lesson. And tell you what? For those who don't know why people become autists people. Because we carry trauma, not just silly trauma, but dark past to be our boomerang knowledge. Here's how to put it simply: Shaun Murphy become a surgeon because he was abused as a child in the past, he lost his pet and brother. He wanted to be a surgeon so that he could prevent as many as possible people from the past he had. Me, on the other hand, I wanted to teach psychology to people because I had happiness in the past as a family, I live through it, and due to lots of tragedy, my family separated and ties severed devastated and I use this trauma to make others not having the same fate as I got now. 

Our knowledge of this, yes, it is not true that only we had it, but we don't deny our past and make no mistake, we won't stray from it and are good at fixing it. Common people may see us as weird and losers in society. But we don't take anyone's credits when teaching and most importantly, we are not bad guys, y'know? The meddling of the past is our power because it makes us limitlessly think of the best solution for our compassions. I wish I could have a smaller goal than Shaun Murphy, but seeing the world right now? I can't help but think I wish I could psychotherapy all the world leaders right now for doing so many stupid things behind one thing, money.

Of course when I said, bad guys, things would be different to Psychopath. They are just takes thing differently. They use their past to become vengeance, we use our past to be knowledge. We teach people, they revenge on people. Don't see us that small, world, please?