Log 27th Oct 2021 Depression could be imminent soon

Recently, I've been dreaming some dreams that would be a clue of warnings to myself. It might be something to do with a feeling of insecurity about myself somehow and I am honestly not sure how to get out of this situation. Whenever I think about it, it was the same feeling when I was fell in love with someone in the past. But the current feeling doesn't have anything to do with sex love of course.

The whole my life I've kept tracking things and trying to warn people now and then, but the more I'm doing it, the more destiny leads me to depression, so I just see this as a closure sign somehow. But the way or the kind of method of closure, I'm not sure how it will go. It could be dead but could also be something drastically changed in my life.

Listen, I wasn't trying to think negatively at the moment. I was just preparing for the worst. One thing that I'm sure I could certain is what's gonna happen in the future maybe have something to do with some events that still linger in my memories. And it is mostly not something good. Right now, I just felt blank. I mean because this is the first time the events I saw were things that might happen to me. 

But overall, I am not sure mostly about anything right now. I kept getting warning dreams and it shocked me almost all the time. That I think might go insane if these dreams keep happening. If I could pray somehow, I just want to say, "I'm scared, God, or to be exact, this vessel scared of where he'll go. Should I leave him soon?"